Apparently, some religious guy (possibly groups of them) have laid claimed to what they call "the fact" that, according to the bible, the "always-reliable source of absolute truth" says the world will end on May 21, 2011, at 6:00 am.
Needless to say, I almost dropped my coffee. Not out of horror, but out of an absolute need to preserve the cleanliness of my floor. The last thing I wanted was to have to follow that news update with a meeting between me and a roll of Bounty, the quicker picker upper.
So, we're all going to die a horrible, bible-guaranteed death. And this is how the believers are dealing with it...
Supposedly, there will be earthquakes, and death and loss, Oh my! Now, is that Eastern Stand Time, because I think I still have time to catch a flight to, oh wait, NOWHERE, if the entire world is ending!
Come on, people! Really?
First off, if this were remotely true, why are these bible thumpers bringing it to our attention now, huh? Did they just find that little nugget in their golden pages, or were they keeping it to themselves?
Then there's the issue of how they're dealing with it. They've sold they possessions, packed up and taken to the open road. Yeah, because the open road is where I wanna be when the earth is supposed to crack wide open for a nice juicy helping of sinners who blinked during that part of the page of the bible that forewarned them of the impending doomsday.
And lastly, the world can not end! I have a Geek Squad guy coming this Tuesday to fix my television, and I refuse to miss that appointment just because of a little thing like the end of the world!
I'm just curious...what are these brain-banks who are so adamant about this bible prediction gonna do when 6:01am rolls around tomorrow and we're not all dead? Oh wait, my mistake. They'll just say God was what, distracted by his holy McMuffin at the time and decided to wait til his food went down before he kills us all? Or will they simply pass it off as God's magnanimous (and temporary) stay of execution for his little minions?
Well, I guess we'll know soon enough, now won't we.
See you all at 6:01am tomorrow morning.