A writer who loves fantasy, avoids reality, and who knows the value of hanging a death skull outside my door to ward off uninvited visitors.

Monday, October 31, 2011

The Evil Ice Cream and Its More Evil Makers!

Okay so, I've been a bad girl! I'll be the first to admit it's not wise to give into the corporate fat-cat lifestyles, but, in my defense, I couldn't help myself. I merely fell prey to the marketing geniuses over at my favorite ice cream company. Ben & Jerry's.

Let me explain.

There I was, minding my own business, just strolling along my domesticated path, when suddenly, I was struck by a wicked sign, purposely posted to taunt the weakest of weak ice cream lovers. It was a buy 1/get 1 free sign for Ben & Jerry's. The absolute BEST ice cream on this planet, and no doubt on any other, if a blind taste test were to be conducted.

So, I bought into the marketing scheme and nabbed 4 pints (Red Velvet Cake, Pistachio, Imagine World Peace...and the king of all flavors to date: Pumpkin Cheesecake).

Yup. I did it. Much to the protest of my thighs and that part of my brain with which my thighs are in a perpetual state of conflict.

Well. Let me tell you. One taste of all four flavors and I could almost feel the shackles of guilt take me over. Like a prisoner waiting to be taken away to some dark, depressing hole in the wall that would make the worst of the worst cry like a baby, I was a goner. Moaning and groaning my way through bite after bite of that creamy, delicious artery-clogging affair that comes wrapped in a beautifully-inviting little container.

So yeah, I dabbed. Sue me. I had to. Not by choice, mind you. Don't forget, it was Ben & Jerry calling. The very best! Pumpkin Cheesecake is their newest contribution to the helpless, sweet-toothed folks out there. Okay, I mean me. And what's worse, those devious marketing geniuses over there branded it as a "limited batch". Those evil thigh haters! Pumpkin Cheesecake. OMG! If you haven't tried it yet, do it now, before they take it away to where all things yummy go: Fond Memory Land. Oh, and if your thighs start to complain and your jeans start begging for mercy, don't blame me. Blame those evil-do'ers over at Ben and Jerry!

Now get tasting. You'll thank me, I promise. Your thighs on the other hand...I'm pretty sure they're gonna wanna send me nothing but evil thoughts and wishes.

Happy Halloween.